Well, fuck.

The Antenna Diaries

So that was good. Really good. I liked the graphics a lot. Although, being a doc about an art academy, it would have to have some good art in it, right? Sure. And we are about some DIY misfits working shit out. Or something.

running time: 1:40:09, without closing credits. THE ART ACADEMY was 1:38.

I need to stop comparing.

The exterminator guy looks at us we're crazy.  CMc is convinced he goes home and talks to his wife about us. But really, I think most people aren't at home when he comes for the monthly spraying, so just interacting with people at all must humor him.

Yes, I know we're behind on screening movies. Could you tell my other boss about that?  My other bosses, I guess.

The new narrative is working well. Maybe we've actually got a movie. That would be nice.  I'd like to have some time to do non-video related art. Or garden. Or lay on the couch and watch stupid movies all day.

So many anxiety attacks.

And then we keep finding pictures we'd forgotten about.

Easley McCain Recording photo: Dan Ball

The Editing Diaries

So much work to do so close to the end.  Making a little movie out of big history.

All I want to do is finish that Raymond Carver bio.

And those pictures make me so sad. I was so young and so scary skinny. In between lockups by men who never ever understood me.

I want to bring a yellow element into "1.8.6.". A yellowment. It seems so awkward right now and it's such a urine yellow in practice but when I go back to picking the color, it's the one I want. Actually, a tobacco stain yellow. More brown. It still looks like urine.

Maybe shapes. The shape is in a trance. lalala. Because it looks cool? Actually it looks kind of stupid.

I'm missing an element and it doesn't appear to be color. I feel like I will pick up a rock while I am walking and written on it will be my answer.

DO THIS THING.

Where is that rock?

I need to watch some more Maya Deren.

So Joann is done with her doc. I want to be done with mine. I compare myself too much to other female filmmakers.

DO THAT THING.

I need to see this movie again. I was so inspired during it. What did I think of? I should write things down.

Maybe I should make it more surreal. There's a crazy rhythm comin' from Puppetland.

The 1.8.6. Diaries

Huh. The last person who said that about me was also on the edge of self-induced dementia.  What a coincidence.

The phone call is coming from inside your head!

Eat the hell out of that salad. Cut the lettuce into tinier and tinier pieces and then there will be more of them but still the same amount of food and that way you can eat half and still get three times as many pieces. See?

I wonder what that little baby grew up to be.

(No, I'm not done with THE MOVIE, but almost. So I have this little movie to work on.)

That ECU of those wiggly sunny-side up eggs grosses me out every time, although it's been pointed out that is how I like my eggs cooked. I like mine in color though.

Is that French toast? 

This is the second film I've done with a completely naked woman in it.  This one isn't crying, although she might be if she knew of the madness that surrounds her.

We have been poking the curse with a stick and look what crawled out.

I love doing the closing credits for my short films. Crew of one. Very attractive. The only person I can get mad at is me, but I guess that's what it's about anyway. It's the voices inside your head, dear.  It's your crew screaming at you all day every day, loop loop loop.

I should watch this movie again:

The Antenna Diaries

Maybe it should be The Antenna Dairies.

"Dear Diary, 
    Today we milked that damned cow. Again."

Running time - 1:40:26

So we wait and we wait. We wait for the tax return check. We wait to hear from IFP. So much breath holding. Is that a chick movie title? "Waiting to Exhale?"

Oh yeah. Whitney Houston. How accidentally semi-topical of me.

Oh wait. The tax return is here. I should have bitched about it earlier.  Now we wait til April 10th to hear about IFP. Which is seventeen whole entire days.

Back Deck Kitty needs to learn how to defend her territory. Also, that other cat has way too much hair.

Do people actually wear tennis bracelets when they play tennis? 

Conference call from L.A. last Saturday, one from Beverly Hills today.

Who knew contract bridge players could be so annoying? Throngs and throngs of them. It's like working on a low rent cruise ship or maybe a hotel in the Poconos. Also, there's really no need to carbo load before a card tournament. Think about it.

I'm dreading this producer screening tonight. I fear all that will come out of it is more people to interview. 83 is certainly enough. Just let me finish this movie this fucking year. Please. Don't let me end up like Rod, with so much unfinished.

Sure, I'll move to San Francisco.  Maybe I've been here too long.  Spring fever makes me want to run away.

This song makes sad, but I love it.

R.I.P. Rod Pitts

You affected me as a filmmaker more than you ever knew. You know that moment in your b/w romantic comedy "What Goes Around" when the screen suddenly fills with color and it is representative of the main character realizing what the fuck love is?  I saw that movie only once, 6 years ago, and I think about that moment all the time.

I'd like to go back to when this was new:

The Antenna Diaries

Our IFP labs submission has made it to NYC, Brooklyn to be specific. Jay St. I think we knew or know someone on Jay St. Signed for by the receptionist at the front desk. Entry #99. The die is cast, etc. Now we wait.

Total running time- 1:44.

We didn't have time to do some of the major surgery we had discussed, moving the Grifters closer to GG, etc. We'll get to that on Sunday. The Music Video Showcase took up three + days of our lives and then it took 15 hours to export and 12 to compress. Yikes. But really, not that bad considering all that funky archival and the animation and so on.

That just gave me a headache.

Going to Dwayne Butcher's opening tonight at David Lusk. He had a great quote in a review I read:"My audience may be limited, but I'm making the art that I want to make." Amen. All of us non-conformists can band together. And be broke together too, I guess. It's better to burn out than blahblahblah.

We're so fucking earnest.  Is that what that guy said? I don't think I've ever been called earnest in my life.

I feel very punk rock today. I might need to wear the Poe shirt and my red plaid mini, because if you don't think Poe is punk, then you're sadly very wrong. I hope my hair behaves. Or misbehaves correctly.
Then "Spring Awakening" at Circuit. It would be so cool to run the movie there, on account of the Elvisness of it, and all that space for installations and bands and so on. I guess we'll see.

Once again I debate painting my fingernails. But really? It kind of freaks me out when I see my hands in my periphery, like they're not mine.

Oo. My Memphis Dawls video has 174 views. Sweet. Waaaay more than "Everybody Kills". Huh. People get so freaked out about bugs.