All I want to do is finish that Raymond Carver bio.
And those pictures make me so sad. I was so young and so scary skinny. In between lockups by men who never ever understood me.
I want to bring a yellow element into "1.8.6.". A yellowment. It seems so awkward right now and it's such a urine yellow in practice but when I go back to picking the color, it's the one I want. Actually, a tobacco stain yellow. More brown. It still looks like urine.
Maybe shapes. The shape is in a trance. lalala. Because it looks cool? Actually it looks kind of stupid.
I'm missing an element and it doesn't appear to be color. I feel like I will pick up a rock while I am walking and written on it will be my answer.
DO THIS THING.
Where is that rock?
I need to watch some more Maya Deren.
So Joann is done with her doc. I want to be done with mine. I compare myself too much to other female filmmakers.
DO THAT THING.
I need to see this movie again. I was so inspired during it. What did I think of? I should write things down.
Maybe I should make it more surreal. There's a crazy rhythm comin' from Puppetland.