Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Thursday Diaries of the Pre-apocalyptic Waitress.

Please don't chew gum while you're waiting tables. I mean, really.

I need to repink my hair. Candy pink. Candy Darling. It makes me happy, which this time of year does not.

Thanks for sneezing on the menu, sir.

Oh god. Shut up.

I'd like to go somewhere for wine and a cheese plate. That sounds so nice. Little crackers and stuff.

So windy. I wish the power would go out here. Or, you know, the world could end. Ha.

"I got you a little happy! I got yew a little g

You just stood behind me, tap tap tapping like that?

I need my pre-apocalypse drink. That's where everybody is.

Oo! One check! Totally unexpected!  Thanks!
And now you're playing that Dirty Santa gift exchange thing. No thank you.

on and on and on

Chocolate covered espresso beans are my jam. A perfect speedball would be two or three + a klonopin.Chew them all up together.


It's because hardly anyone has to work tomorrow, holiday and all. If I was off tomorrow I'd be on my way to hell already and I don't have quite that many pills stockpiled.

What. it's either that or massive anxiety attack. and even then

Drama! Walkout! Which way did he go?
Bartender MIA!
Who knew a pudgy drunk guy full of lamb could run so fast?

Pussies. Grown fucking men.

So what's supposed to happen when the world ends? Does it explode? Implode?  Or just, eh, end.

Brothers!  Sisters! We don't need this fascist groove thang!

I can think of not much better than this hot toddy right now. Maybe if there was a melatonin dissolved in it and I could sleep like a maniac.
Like a maniac? How is that?

We need to edit that thing tomorrow.  That thing I do.

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