The Thursday Diaries of the Pre-apocalyptic Waitress.

Please don't chew gum while you're waiting tables. I mean, really.

I need to repink my hair. Candy pink. Candy Darling. It makes me happy, which this time of year does not.

Thanks for sneezing on the menu, sir.

Oh god. Shut up.

I'd like to go somewhere for wine and a cheese plate. That sounds so nice. Little crackers and stuff.

So windy. I wish the power would go out here. Or, you know, the world could end. Ha.

"I got you a little happy! I got yew a little g

You just stood behind me, tap tap tapping like that?

I need my pre-apocalypse drink. That's where everybody is.

Oo! One check! Totally unexpected!  Thanks!
And now you're playing that Dirty Santa gift exchange thing. No thank you.

on and on and on

Chocolate covered espresso beans are my jam. A perfect speedball would be two or three + a klonopin.Chew them all up together.

on
and
on
and
on
and

It's because hardly anyone has to work tomorrow, holiday and all. If I was off tomorrow I'd be on my way to hell already and I don't have quite that many pills stockpiled.

What. it's either that or massive anxiety attack. and even then

Drama! Walkout! Which way did he go?
Bartender MIA!
Motherfuckers!
Who knew a pudgy drunk guy full of lamb could run so fast?

Pussies. Grown fucking men.

So what's supposed to happen when the world ends? Does it explode? Implode?  Or just, eh, end.

Brothers!  Sisters! We don't need this fascist groove thang!

I can think of not much better than this hot toddy right now. Maybe if there was a melatonin dissolved in it and I could sleep like a maniac.
Like a maniac? How is that?

We need to edit that thing tomorrow.  That thing I do.

Hold onto your breath Hold onto your heart Hold onto your hope

Turn 'em into
turn 'em into
turn 'em into flies.

No, that's not the line. It's a "tournament of lies" which sounds, I don't know, too poetic or something.

Sometime I feel like an intruder in this group of cool freaks and I expect at any moment the secret police will bust in and drag me out.

He could probably be Alex, or at least the template for Alex.  Alex is little shady, but not like he'll steal your stuff shady just, you know, a little unleashed. He's a romantic at heart, but his heart has been broken and he has been a reactive slut for a while. Reactively slutty. Reactivist slut.

I'm ready to make another movie.

This is happening.  Our doc is in competition with a doc about George Plimpton.
Apparently last year they had a mobile sushi bar.  I would like to insist that it follows me around. I'll bet it's from this place. Didn't they have a fried catfish roll or something like that? Am I making that up?
We drank after hours at Ajax Diner that one time, with the keyboard guy from the Barbaras, whose name I can never remember.  But also, Tyler Keith? Did he work there?

Wow. That was a quick response. And great feedback. He should be a film professor. 

Sometimes I just go there to wish people happy birthday. It can get kind of overwhelming dontchaknow.

We are incorporated now. Oddly Buoyant Productions, Inc. We need new business cards.

I guess that popcorn will be down there forever unless I eat it. How does an office full of filmmakers not eat popcorn? I could live on popcorn and Greek salads. Don't skimp on the cheese.

I need more space on this desk; my desk downtown is a spacious. Also, I need a new computer.  I'm the secretary/treasurer of Oddly Buoyant, Inc.; I should have a decent workspace, right? And I want this to be on it.

As mayor of the munchkin city, in the county of the Land of Oz

I should make a casserole or a big pot of something. Also. bourbon balls.  It's going to be wintery. Finally. I want snow this time. Significant snow, and on my day off please.

I need to figure out what I'm wearing for our Xmas party.  Also, I guess I need to buy gifts or make gifts.  I would like a basket with wine and natural girly bathy things, yes.  No vanilla crap! Ew.

"He was the pimp daddy of all daddies and he drove a Volvo." - T. C. Sharpe on Cowboy Urles.  That just cracks me up.

These people live in the margins of life.

I should probably charge my phone.

This has been in my head since Thursday. March up to the gate and bid it open. Open.

The Thursday Diaries

I hate I hate I hate

I am the sulky waitress tonight. Someone just gave me a sugar-free Red Bull. Now I can be sulky and wired. Apparently now there's a Red Bull Zero or some such thing, for those who cannot deal with those TEN CALORIES.

I am not very good at this diet thing. Plus, it's party season. All that cheese and wine. I should be European and eat that for lunch tomorrow.

Is it time to send you home yet?

And then after all the parties is the whiteflour whitesugar salt fest of fucking Christmas.  Ugh.
I used to like it a lot more. Where did that go?

Stop. Doing. That. WHYAREYOUDOINGTHAT? Don't you have a vacation to go on? And I realize you're busy with your one fucking table, but really? Take your wine list to the front LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. Really.

I need a glass of wine. How long? 3.5 hours at the very least.

Stop hovering!!!!

No, I will not play word games with you.

It's them crazy Chinese herbs what done it!

2.5 hours.
iiiiii
I would do this every Thursday but it's hard to phone it.

lalllllalllalala
And it would be the same thing every week

A Day in the Life - Thanksgiving 2012

The picture I took of the coffee maker was too blurry.

I started watching what I thought was the parade, but turned out to be some lame pre-parade nonsense.

I made blueberry crisp.

Yay! Parade!

Blueberry crisp.

Rockettes! Bow down before me!

I went outside to look at the Japanese maple.

Our housewatcher came by to get the keys and I learned that this is referred to as "drunken octopus wants to fight you".

I had enough coffee.

I am barely tall enough to do a self-portrait in this mirror.

I watched the dog show while I waited for El Destructo to finish packing.

We hit the road.

We are heading to a place a little north of Jackson.

We play music with an iPod connected to this jam box...

...because we lost the radio somehow during Indie Memphis a couple of years ago.

We do have this neat steering wheel cover.

Mississippi looks like this a lot.

Automotive dance party decor.

Grenada is halfway between Memphis and Jackson.

We stopped at this combination Exxon and Huddle House, where they apparently don't believe in lemonade. Whatever.

Windshield.

We are almost to the sisters' house when we see this gigantic Nissan plant, which looks like a battleship.

El Destructo is the Potato King.

Turkey.

There was a ping pong table set up.

I didn't ever play, but it was very photogenic.

My sister serves the stuffing.

We drank this deliciousness in addition to other deliciousnesses.

Dinner, minus cranberry sauce because I left the cranberries in Memphis. It was good regardless.

Seth had dinner too.

I brought toys for a secret stop motion animation project.

Seth got high on catnip.

The blueberry crisp got a little sloshed in the car so it was more like cobbler, but it was yummy.

I forgot to take any pictures after this, so you can make up your own story from here on.

The Antenna Diaries

This happened:

These things also happened:

Current distraction/obsession

The Antenna Diaries

It's a real thing. It's really happening.

The Antenna Diaries

Waiting waiting waiting

Waiting for Federico to call. Or email, you know, email would be fine. Anything. Anything to get us out of this limbo.

Somewhere in California, in a clean clean room. It's like THX1138. I like to think that. Maybe they play classical music.

Waiting waiting waiting.  It's like that play, you know.  We sit around and wait and wait for anyone who is supposed to call or email to call or email.  Refresh refresh.

So we watch other people's movies.  So beautiful. We pretend we are not anxious, but we are.

Oh, so life imitates art imitates life. Art imitates man imitates art. 

I wrote that as Art inmates man. Ha. Fucking hysterical, yes? Art intimidates life.

Please let them be monkeys. Please let them be monkeys. Please let them be monkeys.

Waiting.

Oh wait. He has the same first name as Fellini. How ironic.

I mean, there is plan B. Which, fine. Would you let us know if we need to initiate it, Federico?

So I work on the closing credits.  He's gonna stick that mic up his ass/ "I'm gonna stick that mic up my ass!" 

Meanwhile, that hurricane churns and churns slowly up from the coast.  Waiting waiting waiting

You'd make me laugh if it wasn't prohibited.

The Antenna Diaries

Sound mix has begun, art department is raring to go. All good. Website, um, soon? I think?

Shot a video for a Vanishing Islands song this weekend with this very cool camera.  It was so heavy it was making my tripod sink, which kind of freaked me out for a while. and I'm still not used to the whole live view thing. (fact: I now own white, grey and black balance cards, but am apparently incapable of using them.) This was our awesome model; she was pure joy and she makes yummy soaps.

So much to do so much to do. Linda Heck footage, stuff for Uncle Roy.

Applying for this fellowship again, since they changed the work sample requirement to documentary feature only.  Which makes sense, of course.  And this time I'll be better steeled for the rejection email, I imagine. Maybe?

Oo! High of 88F today. Cooler weather gives me hope for survival, and for long sleeves, and not praying for death all the time. So sick of sweaty. Also, I'd like a glass of red wine.

I'm obsessed with Birkin. I should try to be more stylish, but it's so hard to be when the heat index is 105F.

Antenna single! Early, because there's a benefit for Ron Hale at the end of the month, on account of medical bills and hard times at the shop. The rest of the singles hit the world in October. Mark your calendars!

Songs for my funeral (list subject to edit).

Yeah. So fucking morbid. Get over it.

"Answering Machine" - Replacements
"Standing in the Rain" - Husker Du
New Day Rising (album) -Husker Du
Eat to The Beat (album) -Blondie
"House of Cards" - Radiohead
"Randy Scouse Git" - Monkees
"Gimme Dat Ding" - The Pipkins
"Naive Melody" - Talking Heads
"Take Me To the River" - Talking Heads
"Genius of Love" - Tom Tom Club
London Calling (album) - Clash
Revolver (album) - Beatles
"Cathy's Clown" - Everly Brothers
"No Expectations" - Rolling Stones
The Idiot (album) - Iggy Pop
(Who Wrote) The Book of Love" - Monotones
"Tell Me a Story" - Iggy Pop
Hunky Dory (album) -David Bowie
"She's a Rainbow" - Rolling Stones
"Betch By Golly Wow" - Stylistics
"Street Spirit (Fade Out)" - Radiohead
Pretenders (album) - Pretenders
Chronic Town (album) - R.E.M.
"Sleep Walk" - Santo & Johnny
Louder Than Bombs (album) - Smiths
Exile on Main Street (album) - Rolling Stones
"Martin Scorsese" - King Missile
"Kids on Holiday" - Animal Collective
"Everywhere That I'm Not" - Translator
Hootenanny (album) - Replacements
"In Bloom" - Nirvana
"The Only Living Boy in New York"- Simon and Garfunkel
"Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans?" Louis Armstrong & Billie Holiday
"Where I End and You Begin" - Radiohead
Play "Dreaming" again.

Show all my movies.

Read "Franny & Zooey".

Show these pictures, because that's where everything ended, or started. I can't decide which.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Antenna Diaries

Error: out of memory.

Whatever. Some kind of corrupt render file I imagine. So many render files. So many externals whirring awake.

Desaturate. Fix fix fix. Color correction is the theme of the summer. I barely know what I'm doing. I should get on those lessons.

I'm planning for it to be November 2nd. And I will stomp my feet and get my way, dammit. I want my princess premiere. I want the Q & A on that stage. I don't know what the fucking problem is.

And so we're writing the next one. It's fairly raunchy so far; I just think the dialogue needs to be sharper. We can't just rely on the sex stories.
Speaking of which, I woke up this morning to a text from Annie, a video of her dancing on stage with the Flaming Lips. She was drunk and still awake in L.A. which meant it was 6am? I was going to tell her that we were writing a fun part for her, but I didn't want to get into some sort of marathon text session.

We went for a walk the other day and found a film can on the street with some film scraps in it. I'm saving them for my next short, because I think this upcoming music video thing needs something else. They sound kind of Man or Astroman? ish, but punkier.

The film scraps are so Lynchian. Or Egglestonian. I think he might be dancing.

The Antenna Diaries

So, yeah. Screening at Easley McCain for sound mix next Friday. Test screening with real audience Monday after next. Must make forms. "Does this damned thing make sense?"

Submitted to Indie Memphis. Also that.

So much work to do, really. Maybe? Is it really picture lock right now? Reading that made me a little nauseous the first time. Now, after taking a week + to export the movie and then a hard drive restoration, it doesn't seem so bad. So many other things to get freaked out about. Like November.

And maybe I'll get that job, which would be cool. I might not pray for death four or five nights a week.

I feel like I haven't gotten shit done today, but I was reminded that we worked on the script for the other movie. Oh. That one. The one with the unprintable title. Really? OH MY GOD! THEY USED A DIRTY WORD AS THE TITLE!!!!! People are so pearl-clutchery. Fuck 'em.

fuck.

Fuck.

fuck.

Fuck.

fuck.

Fuck.

I need to find this album again.

Edit: I just bought it off the ebay. There is a non-zero possibility that it is the original album that I had, on account of I sold my records to a guy in Missouri a zillion years ago and this seller is in Missouri.

Well, fuck.

The Antenna Diaries

So that was good. Really good. I liked the graphics a lot. Although, being a doc about an art academy, it would have to have some good art in it, right? Sure. And we are about some DIY misfits working shit out. Or something.

running time: 1:40:09, without closing credits. THE ART ACADEMY was 1:38.

I need to stop comparing.

The exterminator guy looks at us we're crazy.  CMc is convinced he goes home and talks to his wife about us. But really, I think most people aren't at home when he comes for the monthly spraying, so just interacting with people at all must humor him.

Yes, I know we're behind on screening movies. Could you tell my other boss about that?  My other bosses, I guess.

The new narrative is working well. Maybe we've actually got a movie. That would be nice.  I'd like to have some time to do non-video related art. Or garden. Or lay on the couch and watch stupid movies all day.

So many anxiety attacks.

And then we keep finding pictures we'd forgotten about.

Easley McCain Recording photo: Dan Ball

The Editing Diaries

So much work to do so close to the end.  Making a little movie out of big history.

All I want to do is finish that Raymond Carver bio.

And those pictures make me so sad. I was so young and so scary skinny. In between lockups by men who never ever understood me.

I want to bring a yellow element into "1.8.6.". A yellowment. It seems so awkward right now and it's such a urine yellow in practice but when I go back to picking the color, it's the one I want. Actually, a tobacco stain yellow. More brown. It still looks like urine.

Maybe shapes. The shape is in a trance. lalala. Because it looks cool? Actually it looks kind of stupid.

I'm missing an element and it doesn't appear to be color. I feel like I will pick up a rock while I am walking and written on it will be my answer.

DO THIS THING.

Where is that rock?

I need to watch some more Maya Deren.

So Joann is done with her doc. I want to be done with mine. I compare myself too much to other female filmmakers.

DO THAT THING.

I need to see this movie again. I was so inspired during it. What did I think of? I should write things down.

Maybe I should make it more surreal. There's a crazy rhythm comin' from Puppetland.

The 1.8.6. Diaries

Huh. The last person who said that about me was also on the edge of self-induced dementia.  What a coincidence.

The phone call is coming from inside your head!

Eat the hell out of that salad. Cut the lettuce into tinier and tinier pieces and then there will be more of them but still the same amount of food and that way you can eat half and still get three times as many pieces. See?

I wonder what that little baby grew up to be.

(No, I'm not done with THE MOVIE, but almost. So I have this little movie to work on.)

That ECU of those wiggly sunny-side up eggs grosses me out every time, although it's been pointed out that is how I like my eggs cooked. I like mine in color though.

Is that French toast? 

This is the second film I've done with a completely naked woman in it.  This one isn't crying, although she might be if she knew of the madness that surrounds her.

We have been poking the curse with a stick and look what crawled out.

I love doing the closing credits for my short films. Crew of one. Very attractive. The only person I can get mad at is me, but I guess that's what it's about anyway. It's the voices inside your head, dear.  It's your crew screaming at you all day every day, loop loop loop.

I should watch this movie again:

The Antenna Diaries

Maybe it should be The Antenna Dairies.

"Dear Diary, 
    Today we milked that damned cow. Again."

Running time - 1:40:26

So we wait and we wait. We wait for the tax return check. We wait to hear from IFP. So much breath holding. Is that a chick movie title? "Waiting to Exhale?"

Oh yeah. Whitney Houston. How accidentally semi-topical of me.

Oh wait. The tax return is here. I should have bitched about it earlier.  Now we wait til April 10th to hear about IFP. Which is seventeen whole entire days.

Back Deck Kitty needs to learn how to defend her territory. Also, that other cat has way too much hair.

Do people actually wear tennis bracelets when they play tennis? 

Conference call from L.A. last Saturday, one from Beverly Hills today.

Who knew contract bridge players could be so annoying? Throngs and throngs of them. It's like working on a low rent cruise ship or maybe a hotel in the Poconos. Also, there's really no need to carbo load before a card tournament. Think about it.

I'm dreading this producer screening tonight. I fear all that will come out of it is more people to interview. 83 is certainly enough. Just let me finish this movie this fucking year. Please. Don't let me end up like Rod, with so much unfinished.

Sure, I'll move to San Francisco.  Maybe I've been here too long.  Spring fever makes me want to run away.

This song makes sad, but I love it.

R.I.P. Rod Pitts

You affected me as a filmmaker more than you ever knew. You know that moment in your b/w romantic comedy "What Goes Around" when the screen suddenly fills with color and it is representative of the main character realizing what the fuck love is?  I saw that movie only once, 6 years ago, and I think about that moment all the time.

I'd like to go back to when this was new:

The Antenna Diaries

Our IFP labs submission has made it to NYC, Brooklyn to be specific. Jay St. I think we knew or know someone on Jay St. Signed for by the receptionist at the front desk. Entry #99. The die is cast, etc. Now we wait.

Total running time- 1:44.

We didn't have time to do some of the major surgery we had discussed, moving the Grifters closer to GG, etc. We'll get to that on Sunday. The Music Video Showcase took up three + days of our lives and then it took 15 hours to export and 12 to compress. Yikes. But really, not that bad considering all that funky archival and the animation and so on.

That just gave me a headache.

Going to Dwayne Butcher's opening tonight at David Lusk. He had a great quote in a review I read:"My audience may be limited, but I'm making the art that I want to make." Amen. All of us non-conformists can band together. And be broke together too, I guess. It's better to burn out than blahblahblah.

We're so fucking earnest.  Is that what that guy said? I don't think I've ever been called earnest in my life.

I feel very punk rock today. I might need to wear the Poe shirt and my red plaid mini, because if you don't think Poe is punk, then you're sadly very wrong. I hope my hair behaves. Or misbehaves correctly.
Then "Spring Awakening" at Circuit. It would be so cool to run the movie there, on account of the Elvisness of it, and all that space for installations and bands and so on. I guess we'll see.

Once again I debate painting my fingernails. But really? It kind of freaks me out when I see my hands in my periphery, like they're not mine.

Oo. My Memphis Dawls video has 174 views. Sweet. Waaaay more than "Everybody Kills". Huh. People get so freaked out about bugs.

The Antenna Diaries

Render render render.

Tons of captions for the screening today. I think that'll make a big difference. Three and a half hours from now.

I meant to come home after work and work on levels some more but. No. Not. Those people suck the life out of me. Saturday nights are the worst.

I should have at least rendered these things last night. Yikes.

I think he'll like it. I hope he likes it. He's a good barometer, since he's been at a ton of film festivals in the last year or so and he made an award winning doc to boot. Two years ago he told me to hire someone else to edit, to get it out of my life. I hope he doesn't say that today. I need to see this baby all the way til it rears its bloody little head and screams for the people.

I need to start walking again. I get such good ideas. Also, uh. Yeah. Exercise and stuff. This winter has been very stressful. This non winter. I ordered a cool Sid Vicious (or Viscious, as the website said. Ha!) tunic yesterday. I hope I don't look like a punk rock burrito in it.

Render dammit! Almost halfway done. What did I do with my time before this movie? What were Sundays like? I don't remember. Maybe we went to see movies that other people made.

Single idea: "Who did you see the first time you went to the Antenna?"

Also, keep the tv of dead people for the locals. For regular release, just a card or scroll. Every time I think of that I get this song in my head. I forgot Marky Mark was in that movie.

Current running time: 1:44

THe Antenna Diaries

Finished the latest (and hopefully the last) assembly cut yesterday. Running time - 1:44.

22 minutes shorter than when we screened for Craig, and 2 hours shorter than it was in July. Whew. Screening for Morgan on Sunday, which now I'm all of the sudden nervous about.

I guess we're submitting to this.

We finally cut G.G. down to an acceptable length, lots of archival. And the addition of the vhs tape itself makes all the difference in the world. "This ain't Bon Jovi. This ain't Queensryche."

A Weekend in the Life

We went to Hot Springs, Arkansas for our anniversary.

This is West Memphis, AR. Yeah. Whatever. On to the good stuff.